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The Roast of Betty White

Roast of Betty White

Betty White set the tone for Roast the moment she agreed to sit through the Friars signature funnyfest, saying, “Those Friars may think I’m an easy mark but I have ninety years of comebacks waiting for them. It will be an afternoon filled with dirty words, risqué jokes and sex talk–and that’s just what I plan on saying.” With Barbara Walters as Roastmaster the intent may have been to make Betty feel safe with such a stoic, professional journalist at the helm. But maybe not when Betty got this from Barbara, “What can one say about Betty that has not already been said about you by your contemporaries, Moses and John the Baptist. I would be remiss if I also did not mention the great love of Betty’s life, General Custer.”

Friars President and Dean Freddie Roman opened the proceedings by introducing “our modern day Lady Godiva” and as curtains parted there sat a nearly naked woman on a white horse. Betty then came out seated on a pony escorted by two bare-chested cowboys. When she got off the horse, Betty yelled to Lady Godiva, “Get the f–k out of here!” And they were off!

Matt Lauer, who introduced the non-speakers on the dais, is well versed in being the center of attention on the dais. “As someone who did sit in that seat a couple of years ago and who was Roasted by the members of this panel, I want to tell you that you are thoroughly screwed.

It’s difficult to print exactly what the Roasters said without offending, well pretty much everyone, but suffice it to say that Joy Behar, Valerie Bertinelli, Norm Crosby, Bethenny Frankel, Valerie Harper, Larry King, Lisa Lampanelli Jane Leeves, Liza Minnelli, Oscar Nunez, Regis Philbin and Jeffrey Ross had a field day roasting the 90+ guest of honor. Not to mention Don Rickles sending in a video and David Letterman his Top 10 List of little known facts about Betty White. Dean Roman presented Betty with the Friars Roast Award. “I am so pissed off!” she said. But she admitted she did enjoy herself, “I really deeply had a good time when I didn’t expect to. I thank you with all my heart.” Betty is one of the many reasons we only Roast the ones we love!

by Barry Dougherty

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Roast of Betty White

Roast of Betty White