By Barry Dougherty
After more than a hundred years of Roasting, it seems the Friars have finally met their match. On October 28th Friar Don King will put up his dukes and come out fighting to greet the Friars special lineup of comedians for their annual Celebrity Roast. The event will be held at the Hilton Hotel, where their grand ballroom has laid claim to some of the funniest and filthiest Roasts for over a decade. Oh, if only those walls could talk, they would be washed with soap daily.
Don King hanging out at the Monastery with
Joe Frazier
As King says, “Only in America can a Don King happen,” and only at the Friars would they Roast one of the most sought-after, charismatic, and unconventional personalities around. If anyone is more prepared to handle the blows of a wittily jabbed punch line it’s boxing promoter Don King. His light-socket hair style alone has made him the butt of some of the funniest jokes in hair-raising history (and that includes Albert Einstein and Friar Donald Trump!). Is the man who teamed up with Muhammad Ali and created a new era in boxing ready for the Friars hot seat? Hard to say, but it’s a given he’s been up against tougher opponents–just not funnier ones.
Friars Howard Cosell, Red Buttons,
Milton Berle, and Don King gather together
for Berle’s Testimonial Dinner in 1985
for Berle’s Testimonial Dinner in 1985
King’s career as a promoter spans three decades and includes more than five hundred world championship fights–all beginning with
one fateful charitable endeavor. In 1972 he came to the aid of Forest City Hospital, a Cleveland facility that was vital to a poor, working-class community and in danger of being shut down. King sought the support of Ali for a fund-raising benefit. Not only was the hospital saved, but the winning team of King/Ali was about to emerge and make sports history.
It was King who arranged the fight between Ali and George Foreman in 1974 that promised both fighters more than five million dollars each–a figure unheard of at that time. In spite of the fact that his financial backers pulled out of the fight, which he took to Zaire, it became known as one of the greatest fights in history. King’s staging of “The Rumble in the Jungle” solidified his place as a motivating force in boxing.
Thanks to the efforts of Friars Ken Roberts and Bruce Charet, King was “convinced” that this afternoon will be a very special one. Let’s hope that Roast producer Mark Krantz informs him that neither Ali nor Foreman can help him with this latest bout. It will be King in one corner and the Roasters in the other and he’ll have to fend off the hilarious jabs all by himself.
Dean Freddie Roman says that he can’t wait to see the man who can make three hundred pound men built like Mack trucks cry over a contract endure the blows by our Roasters–the sharpest tongues in show business. Not that he’s a stranger to a Friars dais, having attended the Milton Berle Testimonial Dinner in 1985. Let’s see, at that Roast he heard Al Kantor comment on Berle, “Milton is a man I’ve admired for years–none of them recently”; or Dick Cavett’s joke, “Milton has the most famous organ this side of Radio City”; and Joey Adams’ line, “When it was announced that there was going to be a dinner at the Friars for Milton Berle, everyone fought to be on the dais. Those who won aren’t here.” It might be a good idea for King to check his diary from that night to see what the guest of honor endured and maybe brush up on his comebacks. Then again, that was a mild mannered, stately Testimonial Dinner, not a down and dirty Roast.
“Only in America can a,
Don King Happen ”
Perhaps Mike Tyson can give King some pointers in bobbing and weaving his way around the more cutting of remarks. He owes King anyway for setting up his fight with Evander Holyfield. Their first fight in 1996 was seen in more than one hundred countries by more than two billion people, shattering all previous viewing records for a boxing event. Holyfield won. The rematch a year later was staged before a crowd of more than sixteen thousand in Las Vegas, which produced a record gate of $14.2 million. Tyson was disqualified for biting Holyfield's ears. A tip or two from Tyson certainly couldn't hurt King on October 28th.
Granted King is a succulent choice to Roast–who wants to barb a bore? With his colorful past and edgy style the comedians will have a field day and the audience will be talking about the event for years to come.
One thing is for certain, this Roast will last longer than the fight King set up with Tyson and Peter McNeeley. It was Tyson's first fight after being released from prison–Tyson flattened McNeeley in eighty-nine seconds. Hell, the laughs from the first shot fired from a Roaster’s mouth will run longer than that.
Dean Freddie Roman seals the Roast deal with Friar Don King over lunch in the Frank Sinatra Dining Room. Now King has no where to hide from the comics on October 28th
The next man to take the Friars hot seat
But like all honored guests of the Friars, King does have something other than a sense of humor and an ego made of steel going for him–a humanitarian heart. His tireless and continuous philanthropic efforts are rarely chronicled which is fine by King as he has often said, “If you do something just to get noticed, then it is not a truly charitable gesture,” and he has lived by that credo. His Don King Foundation has donated millions of dollars to worthy causes and organizations. Each year King has gone into neighborhoods during the holidays and personally handed out turkeys to needy families.
The two champs: Muhammad Ali and
Friar Don King
Friar Don King
Inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame in 1997, The New York Times listed King among one hundred African Americans who have helped shape this country’s history during the last century. It’s a given that after this Roast he will have shaped the Friars history as well–in the direction of funnier than ever.
“Neither Ali nor Foreman can
help him with this latest bout ”
help him with this latest bout ”
King’s selection proves that the Friars still rule when it comes to choosing the most unique personalities and major players in showbiz. The Friars are putting together a roster of the savviest Roasters for the big event. Let’s hope that King is ready to take it on the chin. Then again, seeing as he does know the meanest, strongest, toughest, and most pummel-hungry men in the world the comedians might want to work on their own defensive skills in the comedy ring. They should collectively consider a rousing chorus of “We only Roast the ones we love!” That works every time.