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By Dave Konig Nobody likes a name dropper. Show business is filled with insecure losers who will grab every opportunity to blab about the celebrities they’ve worked with. It’s pathetic. Thank God I’m not like that! Ask anyone who knows me, like comedian Friar Kevin Meaney who I recently opened for; talk to comedy stars like Friar Susie Essman or Friar Lewis Black who worked with me on the HBO series I hosted, Hardcore TV. Ask Friar Abe Vigoda (a guest on my cable talk show parody The Dave Konig Show) or Comedy Central star Friar Tom Shillue (a guest on my Emmy Award winning “Konig Underground” segment on Subway Q & A). They will all tell you–Dave Konig is no name dropper!
But even I got a little starstruck recently when I did a commercial with baseball greats Joe Torre and Willie Randolph. I was cast as a sports reporter, entrusted with the pivotal line: “Hey Willie, is that sandwich fresh toasted?” It was a challenge, but I was up to it. As an “actor” I know how important it is to “prepare” for a “role.” First, I spent several months living amongst sports writers, studying their ways, their customs. Then came weeks of intense rehearsals, developing my character–what were his hopes, dreams, his innermost fears? What fueled his desire to know the truth about Willie’s sandwich?
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Friar “Dave Konig” flanked by his “fellow thespians” Joe Torre on his left and Willie Randolph on his right.
Finally, the big day arrived. Willie and Joe couldn’t have been nicer. We talked “shop”–no egos, just one actor talking to another. I gave them some acting tips, which they seemed to appreciate. “You’re not going to stand there, are you?” Joe said to me. “Look,” Willie confided, “Nothing personal, but I need to concentrate here, okay?” Then we all had a good laugh. Well, I did. |
Willie and Joe just sort of stared at me. Then they asked me to move. That’s the kind of good-natured bonding that goes on between actors.
It was time to start shooting. The director called “action” (that means “begin”). Willie said his lines: “Blah, blah, blah...” then he stopped talking, which was my “cue” to say my line. All the months of rehearsal were about to pay off.
I took a deep breath and blurted out, “Hey sandwich! Is that toast fresh Willied?” The director yelled, “Cut!” (that means “stop”). I had “blown” my line! That kind of thing happens all the time with professional actors. It’s all part of the fun, and we all had a good laugh. Well, I did. Willie and Joe just kind of stared at me.
We tried it again. “Hey, toastie! Is that Willie fresh sandwiched?” And again. “Hey, Sandy! Which toes are fresh Willied?” Apparently the director was a real stickler for getting all the words in the right order. I guess he was a perfectionist, like Scorsese or something.
Sixty or seventy takes later, the director muttered something about “piecing something together in post” (that’s technical jargon too complicated to explain here), and I was told to go home. I went to shake Willie and Joe’s hands, but they suddenly had to be somewhere else on the set. Hey, I know how it is, things can get pretty hectic on a “shoot.” All in all, a job well done–or should I say, a job “fresh toasted”!
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